REPORT OF THE AD HOC COMMITTEE TO INVESTIGATE JESUS OF NAZARETH
Everybody knows that there is a social hierarchy, certainly anyone who’s been to junior high. Apparently Jesus didn’t pay attention in 7th grade and needs to be reminded who is in and who is out and certainly that does not include tax collectors and other sinners. For crying out loud, he has been known to speak to women at the well. Women!
Not only does Jesus not adhere to social expectations, he turns them upside down and sounds rather proud of himself while doing it.
His fledgling movement will never get any traction this way. You need to have a few influencers to help sway public opinion, generate some capital, grease some palms. Look at where a hair shirt in the wilderness got his cousin John, that baptizer. He’ll never get anywhere.
If he were to engender a few more well placed relationships, play a little golf, have a few drinks with movers and shakers in the empire, with his gift of the gab he could go anywhere.
We tried to give him a little friendly advice today about the riff-raff he’s been eating with. In response he doubled down with some sheep story and an old woman who dropped a penny. If he wants this little band of his to amount to anything he needs some more influential friends in high places. We can help him get in good with Rome and he and his little group might land a cushy position. Rome rules the world and will for at least a thousand more years. That’s where we recommend he put his energy. He could go places. Where will this little rag-tag band end up without us? Tax collectors. Street sweepers. Street walkers! Hah! Can you imagine? It won’t last another year or two.
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